The Lord's Heritage Sterilization
Tubal Reversal Doctor: Dr. Roberto Perez
Allen & Kelli Bucklin's Testimony
Parents to 4 so far
In 1997 at the birth of our last biological child I had a Tubal Ligation. It was never what I wanted, but it was what I did. I destroyed a gift that God had bestowed upon me, knowing that it was a gift. You see, my husband Allen and I married very young, December 18th of 1993. I was just two months past my 18th birthday. We had known each other forever, and had dated only months before Allen asked for my hand in marriage. I was thrilled. We have been married for over 11 years now, with four beautiful children.
We got pregnant on birth control, (something we had no idea causes abortions) and had a baby right away. Zachery was born just 6 days after my 19th birthday. He was such a wonderful birthday gift! Three months later we found out that we were pregnant again, another pill baby! Micayla came into our lives the month following my 20th birthday. What a sweet blessing she was and still is. We were very happy and very busy with two babies in the house. It didn't take long for #3 to arrive, this time I was on Depo-Provera. Gregory was born in April of 1997. At this point Allen especially felt over-run. Birth control obviously didn't work, family pressure was on BIG TIME, and the Dr really encouraged getting sterilized. Allen wasn't saved at this point and so he did what he thought was right....finally he came to me with an ultimatum. Either I got broken or he would. I really felt like this wasn't much of a choice, either way this baby would be my last, but being saved, I believed that I should submit to my husband and did as he asked during my c-section with Gregory. I was so sad the whole pregnancy knowing that this would be the last baby I ever felt turn, and kick inside me. I savored every moment. Post partum was even worse...I had never experienced regret like that before.
We went through all the emotions. There were times you could tell that Allen missed babies too, but he would never let me know it. I went through the whole array of issues with this. From crying, to begging, and worse, nagging. For a while this became a bitter point of resentment for us. I didn't blame Allen for what I did, but blamed him for making me feel as if I had no choice. It was very hard for him to understand. And over time it became a very sore topic. I would cry to see newborns, and smell that sweet baby smell. I knew that what we did was wrong.
It wasn't long after Gregory's birth I started to notice some changes. Allen started asking a lot of questions about the Lord. He attended church with the children and I, which was a huge step. We all rejoiced when Allen was finally saved! At this point Gregory was a few months old. That in and of itself was a huge answer to prayers.
We muttled through this issue until January of 2003. It wasn't until a heated discussion that he had an awakening. The talk started out on an entirely different subject. Then out of the blue, Allen said, "You are always going to blame me for this!" At first I didn't understand the parallel of the topics, but that didn't matter because God used it just the same. During our talk I cried out to God to please make him understand what I was saying, because I just couldn't explain it anymore. I accepted my responsibility for this decision, and had repented for it, I just wanted him to see how trapped I really felt. The talk lasted until 4:30 a.m. until we both agreed to let it rest in Gods hands. The next morning we experienced a miracle.
That day my husband awoke sullen, he was not angry or distant, but noticeably distraught. I asked if he was alright and he broke down, he was sobbing uncontrollably, and saying how sorry he was. He finally after almost six years of praying understood. He said he wanted more children, that he knew that birth control was wrong in God's eyes. He said he felt like he had forced me to have a permanent abortion. My heart broke over his grief and I know that the Lord truly touched him. I was concerned that this change of heart was for me and how I felt, until he told me straight out it was for God. There was no going back.
We searched the web trying to find information on reversals, and Christian groups for support and financial help. We were so thrilled when we found one! Just to have a group where we could receive support and support others financially, and otherwise was wonderful! (which was not TLH, since TLH was not in existence yet) We subscribed and were accepted and later applied to receive financing. We were accepted to the waiting list and things really hit the fast track from there. The average time to fund a reversal at that time was 3 months. Basically 4 a year. For that ministry this was a record year. They funded 9 reversals, and thanks to some pretty big anonymous donations we were funded at the end of the year. In fact we were the last one in 2003.
We had our reversal on March 1st, 2004. Here is our return message from the hospital in Rio Bravo and from home: "Well Ladies and Gents, here I am in the hospital recovering from my surgery. We arrived here at about 11 a.m. and the receptionist called Dr. Levi. He came in right away and said that he had to make sure that everyone was here otherwise they would need to wait until 7 tonight to perform the surgery. Well he made a few calls and had me and Allen follow him to a room where I changed and had my IV installed. Sounds like I am having a computer upgrade huh? Well I guess we can consider this a body upgrade~ LOL. So a few minutes later Dr Levi came and took Allen to get on scrubs, and the nurse finished prepping. ~Guys may want to stop here until the next paragraph. ~ Not to be too graphic but I know that this has come up before...yes, you do get shaved. That was the only thing that really surprised me; everyone else here really prepared me well for everything else.
So we went in, and I had my epidural put in. and they gave me a shot of some sleepy meds. I was awake for most of the surgery. The anesthesiologist really did a great job staying on top of what I needed which really added to my comfort and peace. I never really felt any pain, only once a short twinge; the minute I reacted to it, the doctor added more meds and I was instantly relieved. I ended up keeping the epidural for pain relief and am not sure when they will take it out; I am assuming that it is because I am allergic to the normal types of pain meds, like codeine and morphine. Maybe someone else who has already had their surgery can comment as to if this is standard. I don't know.
So anyways, they complete the operation and continued to reassure Allen again and again as he was really nervous. They did a really good job of that too. LOL. Dr Levi came back when I was a little more coherent and said that I have 5cm on the right side and 6cm on the left. He said everything looked real good, and that I should have no problems getting pregnant. Not that this is our goal but it sure is a nice side effect of being whole. Well I am going to get some sleep and will update you a little later."
Here is another update after the surgery from home: "Well it is now Thursday and I am finally home and in bed. Praise be to God! I am doing very well. I'm a little sore, more so if I move the wrong way. I am pretty tired and have slept most of the day away today, which has really added to my comfort; sleep really is restorative! I am so happy to be home in my bed and not in another hotel, though if you had asked me last night I would have slept on a sidewalk as I was so worn out, and all we did yesterday was fly. The hospital was great, the food was good and the people were wonderful! I was glad to know a little Spanish; that made the language less of an issue; I would really encourage anyone going to take the time to learn a few words. I am truly amazed at the difference in care between the states and Mexico; the horrific stories are quite reversed! Not that I am saying that this is standard there, just my experience.
The trip home was really tiring! From the airport it is more like a ten hour drive. Yahoo maps list it as 8 but it is much longer. We had a great trip though as we tend to really enjoy car rides. The rides on the way back were a little less fun; the hardest was the home stretch from Boston to Maine. We found out later it was because of a Dural leak, which explains the insane headache. This is no fault of the Dr.'s, it all depends on the patient. It happens sporadically from what my Dr. at home said, its where the Dural sack doesn't seal when the catheter is removed. They just applied a blood patch, and it was instantly better. I just happen to be one that it would affect. Either way it was well worth it."
We conceived once since the reversal just one month after having it done and had a very early miscarriage. We are now waiting to see what the Lord has in store for us. We just completed the adoption of our 4th child January 19th of 2005. So we feel very blessed. This was never about having a baby, or increasing our family size, but to restore things to the way the Lord planned. The only difference now is that we accept what ever He has planned for us. Even if we have no more babies, we know that we are in Gods sovereign will.
Update August '05: I had an HSG performed to check on my tube functions after having a second miscarriage. My left tube is completely clear and the right tube showed a large blockage, that the OB suggested surgery to repair to avoid ectopic pregnancy. After doing some research and talking to some other Dr.'s it seems this may not be a blockage at all. Where the block was found at the base of the tube, where it connects to the uterus, it is highly likely that it was just a spasm. So we will have the HSG repeated at a later date to confirm the blockage, before going for any surgery.
Update October '05: We are so happy to announce that we are expecting a baby BOY due June 18th of 2006!
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